Pesach: Shabbat Chol Hamoed Exodus 33:12 to 34:26

Pesach 2009

Next year in Jerusalem. As a child I thought how strange. We would never pack and go. What an easy trip, too. We had seen the photos. The stewardess could inform us of our arrival. Now here’s an idea. What if in Exodus 33: 13 instead of if You are pleased with me, allow me to know Your ways…Moses says to God…if we’re the right ones please give us a prototype so we can know where we’re going…What then?

Well, I think that is what Moses is saying. Give me a glimpse, some direction. After all, Moses can’t just pop online to check out the Promised Land. He doesn’t get the travel magazines. And how can we get moving if we don’t know where to? If we don’t know we’ve arrived…or not? Of course, as a child, it also occurred to me that we had already escaped. The bad Egyptian soldiers had all drowned. We had sung our song of freedom. It seemed a bit fast to be back on the road so soon. Or even to be talking about Jerusalem with such enthusiasm. Therefore the questions I want to address here are where, why, and when.

Let’s begin with where.

Every term (in my fiction writing class) I teach symbols and metaphors. A metaphor, I say, is a way to breathe life into anything by giving it the attributes of something else. Some students understand. Some don’t. That’s why I give examples. One day I forgot. The students stared at me, started dreaming out the window.

“The sun,” I finally said, “was bleeding into the horizon.”

That woke them up. They were suddenly creating some startling visuals. Of course, not one looked like the other. And none like mine. Even my sun was a glimpse of that one all knowing, all encompassing metaphor almost out of reach.

Let’s look at Exodus (33:13). Moses rightly claims he needs to know the ways of Hashem in order to lead the people to Hashem. As Rashi says, Moses wants to know what reward he might get for having found favor. But what we hear is you cannot have a vision of My Presence. A man cannot have a vision of me and live (33:20). Does this mean that Moses does not get the reward? The example? The necessary glimpse of the destination?

Here’s another question. While Moses can’t have a vision of God’s presence, and Adam can’t have a vision of God and live, who can? Clearly a being beyond human, a mankind beyond mankind. Is this Moses? No. Moses has a different sentence. Is it us? No. We would die. There aren’t two levels of consciousness, here though. There are three. Therefore, it has to be those light‐beings beyond humanity. They get the vision. What then does Moses get?

Moses gets a semi‐reward which is more than the rest of us. He gets an example of a partly unknown destination, one we would like to define as perfection, that top rung, that final gate,
but it isn’t. It’s just what God can show Moses. Granted, it’s what we know we’re given until we can know more, but it’s the words, what follows, not the fani (33:21), not the actuality. The idea of a partial vision is emphasized by the word na (nun aleph). While it is translated as please or to beseech, you can also find it defined as part. The word itself is used to surround similar phrases in 33:13 and 34:9. First we read na if I have found favor in your eyes make me see na your ways. Later we read na if I have found favor in your eyes let my Lord go na in our midst. It seems that Moses is beseeching and/or understanding the incomplete aspect of his request, the impossibility of absolute vision.

And if you think about it, even our online photos of Jerusalem are not absolute. While this can be disappointing, just think of the celebration when we get there. Think of the large nun (34:7) that represents the fifty kabalistic gates to God, and the fact that Moses only walks through forty nine. Think of freedom as more than everything we know or understand.

And this brings us to why.

Why do we need freedom when we already received it as we fled Mitzrayim? Why do we need to keep becoming free? What’s the point? Well, the point is at the middle of a large sphere, both having been created in Genesis (1:1). It’s a consolidation of all divine sparks (Zohar). This is how I tried explaining it to my daughter Lillian, age 13.

Lilly: If you could go forward or back in time which would you choose?
Me: I’d go deeper into the present.
Lilly: That’s boring. We’re already here.
Me: You sure?
Lilly: Yes I’m sure.
Me: I’d go deep into one point and be in the past present and future all at the same time.
Lilly: Impossible.

I didn’t say research Einstein. I could have though. But in terms of the Exodus and Torah, it’s pretty clear that the kinetic energy in the point breaks free and creates a thin radiant path through darkness to the edge of the sphere. The Exodus is the story of the forming of that path, that birth canal, that explosion from the point to the greater light of God.

But it doesn’t end there. One fine path does not enlightenment make. We need to squeeze out all darkness. This is proven with the gilded calf (32:18). We need to deal with the whole sphere. We need to find a way to push out from the center point in a cylindrical way. The great thing is we know which way to push. Our celebration of Pesach and the Exodus year after year (with all of the symbols) helps to discern the boundaries, the destination. Now, the cylindrical movement and the squeezing out of darkness can be as real as the chumetz gathered from the kitchen cupboard, as the leaven we sweep from our souls, as one force that pushes out even the tiniest scraps. We must continue on without hesitation, with focus, attention to detail. And to do so we must (as one being) keep the path solid and clear.

In any case, all of the 613 negative and positive commandments, in my opinion, are that action of moving outward on the sphere, whether we are marching with our gold, gems , ephod and tabernacle, or keeping (shomar) the advance already made. They each represent one more conscious action to attain a level closer to the Promised Land. The fact that so many commandments follow the thirteen attributes makes it clear. God is saying…all right, now you know a bit about where you’re going and how to get there. But it’s not so simple. There will not only be a light‐being to inform you of your arrival, you’ll also be informing her. This leads us to when.

Behold, God says, there is a place with me (33:21). This is a big moment. God is setting things up to answer to Moses. But what we’re hearing (Rashi) is that the world is within God, not the other way around. And at the boundary (in the crevice) lives the Shechinah. The Shechinah is waiting for us to inform her, for our information to meet. This meeting on the edge of the sphere is the destination.

When do we travel to Jerusalem? We are in mid‐travel now.

Therefore, may we be aware of the path of light. May we see that path in everything we do. May we celebrate that path once a year with joy, attention to detail and dedication. May we take joy in the partial vision with which Moses is gifted. May we know that what we see is just a piece of that partial vision. May we feel free to approach the unknown, to approach all steps of consciousness this moment. And may we all be light‐beings ourselves, in the arms of the Shechinah, now and next year… in Jerusalem.