Deuteronomy Cycle Two 29:9 to 31:30 Netzavim/ VaYelekh

Netzavim/ VaYelekh

How do we get closer to God? How do we follow something as demanding as the covenant?

In Netzavim it’s simple. After all, the covenant won’t drain us of our time or money. It’s not exclusive to outer space, Hollywood or Harvard and there’s no need to fear the terms. The covenant (like Torah) is about life and if we fear life, we will fear death even more. In short, it is there for us to follow if we get it or not. It’s there if only Moses and God get it (Rashi) and if all of our studying and chanting doesn’t satisfy the vastness. It is not with you alone that I make this covenant (29:13). It is ours to wrestle with, to approach (on some level), to bring to the people we love (on some level) and to accept (on some level) from the prophets.

What I like are all the choices within choices, the hearts within hearts, the singular within the expansive within the singular. One choice, of course, is to turn away. We are so daunted by our body-strangeness and the seeming rift from soul that it’s easy to crave loud emotions, take on obsessions, addictions, those sweet pacifiers created to fill the raw chasm. This behavior is often fun, enticing and soothing, so soothing, but consuming. Ask any meth addict, gang member, drug dealer, abuser, and cynic. Ask ourselves.

Another choice is to climb out of these crevices we’ve created and to use the seeming distance of Torah (in today’s world) to energize our going-up, our return. We can certainly use the computer age (for example) not as an excuse to discard the ancient prayers but as the friction that catapults us into the unspoken words of the angels themselves. Ask any computer geek. Ask ourselves.

Next, we can choose to unveil our hearts and find the demarcation that has been cut and set so we can pass through. As it says in Jeremiah they cut the calf in two and passed between the parts. Mind you, drawing a parallel between the covenant and a split calf is hard to grasp. But today we still apply the covenant to our bodies and vision. It takes confidence, faith and strength to embrace it within our hearts, to fully internalize it as we have learned to do with animal offerings. This is what God seems to want and what it is to be in the image (6:4-8). This is what we want. Ask anyone with a heart. Ask ourselves.

To expand on this, the idea of the transformation from outer to inner covenant can be seen in the structure of Netzavim. If we look closely, we are first in the plural (look at all the chem endings) then we move towards the singular, the oneness of our community (29: 9). This singular then expands towards God and we re-visit the plural. God, on the other hand, begins singular (elohecha) then takes on the plural direct object (our God). Both God and ourselves are involved in a breathing in and out, an approaching, a reaching, a merging, a waning and waxing. The closer to union, the more the choices become refined, tightly wound, exquisite, blended in the seamless tapestry of our heart, hidden, there for the God in all of us as one. The farther from union, the more we cling to ego and despair, the more we engage in things that are hurtful. The dots above lanu ulvanainu ad (29:28), seem to imply a limitation to such blind hurtful action…and perhaps even grant a glimpse of messianic consciousness.

Yes, we’re going places now. But first, what are the exquisite choices close to union? How do we find them? Where, for example, is the covenant cut? What is the exact moment of return? How do we balance our energy between that central place where we sit or stand, and the breath, the inhale and exhale that spirals around us and contains our inner strength? How do we approach others in different places of choice? How do we receive? In Genesis 22-19, that important moment is emphasized by a powerful trope mark. Abraham is returning to his young men after receiving the covenant. The verb shuv (return) is in the past with a rotating vuv. The immediate message; there are verb tenses here beyond our imagination. But now let’s look at the root itself. At first glance, it looks like the verb yoshav (to sit, dwell). Therefore there is a sitting, a dwelling, a stillness within the return. This stillness allows for transmission and reception. Shuv is repeated again in the next line. There is clearly a process with many steps as we bring our personal choice to a place that can be accepted and seen.

And then, there are choices so sacred they are beyond discernment. To some they may be invisible. And to others, obvious. Sometimes I think it’s so frightening. You want to make sure if you return to this deep cut of the covenant and pass through that you can come back. Even more (even though God says you won’t) you don’t want to be alone. Finally, you feel the guttural similarities between these vibrations (barely within reach) and your painful return from darkness. In both cases you feel paralyzed. You can’t (yet) make a stand. Your legs are wobbly, your knees shake, there’s a shortness of breath.

This brings us to the title of the parasha Netzavim. While it is the plural form of to make a stand you can see another word. Tzavi means deer. So suddenly, we are being acted upon as if we are the deer. And if you think of it, we are all, in ways, deer in the God-lights, eyes shining, body still, and knowing for a split second that we are stunned and stunning in death and life. What’s beautiful is that wherever we do stand (and there are billions of choices) it is the right place. Everyone is in the right choice this moment. And even if some of us aren’t yet in that choice to see the perfection of it…We can still ask of it. We can ask of God. We can ask of ourselves.

So, like a darting deer, may we flee to God in love (Yedid Nefesh). May we break out of the stunned second, the bonds of time, the physicality of the covenant to those choices that carry us into compassion, remembrance, forgiveness, patience and connection. May we pass through the covenant with enough humility and confidence to internalize it. May we take the steps to release the outer layers and in so doing release ourselves and help those around us. And then without fear of darkness…like Moses in his final hour…may we step as one into the oath and the heart of God.