Exodus Cycle Four Bo

Bo

There’s a blessing called Gaal Yisrael or Emet. It connects the Sh’ma to the standing prayers…or the Amidah. The Sh’ma is revelation and the Amidah is the mind-altering pinnacle of the service. Emet is the inter-connection. It’s all about olam habah, the world to come, the world of truth.

Most liberal synagogues tend to cut short this blessing. We chant Mi Camocha and Tzur Yisrael and we are happy. I don’t have a problem with this. When I’m alone though I like to daven the whole thing. This ability (of course) wasn’t a talent I was born with. I needed to learn the blessing first. So one day I went to a rock by the lake and repeated the whole prayer ten times. I figured after ten times I’d be able to fly through it like good rabbinic students everywhere. This is what happened though. First, I didn’t end up knowing it as perfectly as I had hoped. It would take even more repetition. And next, I was astounded by the power of the Hebrew words. Try sitting on a rock and repeating Emet ten times. You will see.

The reason for this focus though is this: Right in the middle of this exquisite prayer, right when we feel ourselves rising and know we are conscious enough to prepare the offering of our soul to God. Right when we can smell the incense of the ancient temple and can feel the flames in our hearts connecting with the divine radiance. Right when we can reach just a bit more and touch the barrier between light and darkness….we thank God for killing their first born and for redeeming ours.

We thank God for that visceral and vicious scene in Torah when children and animals are dying…when every house in Egypt is suffering…those of the wealthy as well as those of the slaves. When blood has to be everywhere and the dead litter the streets. It feels like an outrageous moment. There we are davening prayerfully and without flinching without questioning and we thank God for killing. Sweetly we are swaying back and forth or side by side. Deep into our hearts we are reaching. And verbally we are expressing our acceptance and awe of this horror…all in order to be real intimate with God.

Here’s more. We all know that tefillin are important. But did you know that the mitzvah to wear tefillin is sandwhiched between two Torah-narratives that focus on yes….the killing and redemption of the first born? Why would that be?

Since I don’t see Judaism as a violent or vengeful religion I am obliged to ask what this is really all about. Of course, some like to take this first-born paradigm literally to support political ideas. But it’s just a construct. Torah never was nor will it be a book of politics. Therefore, it might be wise to ask the sages to see what they think. It might be even wiser to try and emulate their process. Well, from what I see of kabbalists and the Sfat Emet and Rabbi Abraham Kook…this is what they do. As instructed in Torah they take questions to the place of God’s choosing…in other words up a few levels to metaphor. This way the issue can be re-assimilated into this world as we live today.

Using this process therefore let’s first define the first-born. Must the first born be a living being? Can it be something we create together, the first try, the first jump into something new, the first term in college, the first day of a job, the first month of a relationship, the first speech we give, the first class we teach, the first prayer we lead? My guess is yes. Every moment every day in fact is an entry into a new universe, a whole new birth, alive with cells and vibrant hopes, new ways to help others, to heal one man or the world. Each moment is a new opportunity to project our radiance…our God-light…through all shadows. Each moment is a birth of God-love. With it we can raise sparks.

But what if this first born moment of all moments…what if it is veiled in darkness, twisted intentions, hidden motives, deceit or mistrust? What if it is a first born of shadow? The kabbalists describe evil as the incessant birthing coming from a cut-off gevurah. It becomes power and more power. Nothing else. Ego and more ego. And since it carries this seed it cannot ever move away from shadow until it is swallowed by it. This is Mitzrayim, the collection of so many first-born creations unrecognized for their destructive potential. I don’t mean people here. Once again, I mean decisions, jobs, wars, investments. Even relationships. If intention is born from shadow, knowingly or knowingly, the ultimate growth of this first-born, this most-exact reflection, only feeds shadow.

So, here’s the next question. How do we know it? Human we are and human we remain. We do things all the time and don’t have any idea we are messing-up. Wow, we think, this is an action of high-love and chesed. There can’t be anything wrong with it. We excitedly birth many first moments and figure our action must be radiant and well-guided because this is how we feel in passing. How can we know if there are fears, doubts, ambition, ego? If it’s all hidden?

This is my opinion. We look at the results. We see if the action has been hurtful or is causing any pain. We see how we are acting around it. Are we in integrity with it? And then (if not) what do we do? Well., Torah says this: We find a way to cut it off, kill it, embrace it, re-birth it new for God alone. This is called redemption. And how beautiful to take something marred and bring it clean and new to God as an offering, a first-born of light and love! What an opportunity! How blessed we are to be able to do this!

The next question is the most difficult. What is the boundary between Mitrayim and the Promised Land? There’s a wilderness of a grey zone and somewhere within is a boundary. On one side is the bachor (the first born) to be redeemed and on the other side is the bachor (the first born) to be killed.

I think the answer here lies in the redemption, the rebirth. I agree with the Talmudic rabbis that anything even near the boundary has the potential for re-creation and offering to God. We can’t slash everything we do because it is born from shadow. We would be destroying ourselves.

What we can do though is take upon ourselves the courage to act. We can see that we are here on this earth to bring our first-born moments to God. And if the first born is of shadow we do the work to transform it. This energy is what enables us to leave Mitzrayim…and it also is what guides us as we carefully move from day to day, moment to moment, job to job, step to step, person to person, friend with friend. There’s a force that this action creates, a necessity, a beauty so exquisite you feel like you are holding olam habah and Truth right there in the palm of your hand. You feel ready to be thankful. You feel ready to come out of hiding. You feel ready to honor the love freed from shadow. You feel like this action…your action… is God.

And as you daven the prayer Emet you know one thing.

It is.