Exodus Cycle Five Bo

Bo

Crossing the Bridge to Redemption  

There’s a blessing called Emet. We chant it between the Sh’ma and the Amidah. The Sh’ma is seen as revelation. The Amidah is the height of the service. Truth then (Emet means Truth) is the Bridge that connects Revelation to Enlightenment.  And bridges are important. Without a bridge for example we can’t get from one side of the river to the other.

In my liberal schul we chant a piece of Emet (Mi Camocha). It’s nice also to chant the whole thing.

In the center of this prayer though, right when we feel ourselves rising, when we can smell the incense of the ancient temple and feel the flames in our hearts connecting with the divine radiance, when we can almost taste the barrier between light and darkness….we thank God for killing their first born and for redeeming ours.

We thank God for that visceral and vicious scene in Torah when children and animals are dying…when every house in Egypt is suffering…when blood is everywhere and the dead litter the streets. There we are chanting prayerfully and we thank God for killing. Sweetly we are swaying back and forth or side by side and verbally we are expressing our acceptance and awe of this horror…all to be real intimate with God.

Here’s more. The mitzvah to wear tefillin (in Bo) is sandwiched between two Torah-narratives that focus on yes….the killing and redemption of the first born.

Since I don’t see Judaism as a violent religion I am obliged to ask what this is all about. Of course, some like to take this first-born paradigm literally to support political ideas. But  Torah never was nor will be a book of politics. Therefore, it might be wise to question the sages. Well, from what I see of kabbalists (eleventh century mystics), the Sfat Emet (a mystic of the nineteenth century) and Rabbi Abraham Kook (the first Chief Rabbi of Israel)…this is what they do. As instructed in Torah they take questions to the place of God’s choosing…in other words up a few levels to metaphor. Then the issue can be re-assimilated into this world today.

Using this process therefore let’s first define the first-born. Must it be a living being? Can it be something we create, the first try, the first day of a job, the first month of a relationship, the first speech we give, the first class we teach, the first breath after waking? My guess is yes. Every moment in fact is an entry into a new universe, a whole birth, alive with vibrant hopes, new ways to heal one man or the world. Each moment is a new opportunity to project our radiance through shadows. With it we can raise sparks.

But what if this moment of all moments is veiled in twisted intentions, deceit or mistrust? What if it is a first born of shadow? The kabbalists describe evil as the incessant birthing coming from power and more power. Ego and more ego. This is Mitzrayim, the collection of first-born creations carrying that destructive potential. If intention is born from shadow, the growth of this first-born only feeds shadow.

So, here’s the next question. How do we know it? We do things all the time and don’t have any idea we’re messing-up. We feel fine and well-guided. How can we know if there is selfish ambition, revenge, jealousy, fear, ego? If it’s all hidden? Even from us?

This is my opinion. We look at the results. Has the action been hurtful? Does it cause anyone pain? Are we in integrity with it? And then (if not) what do we do? Well,  Torah says this: We find a way to cut it off then re-birth it new for God alone. This is called redemption. And how beautiful to take a marred beginning and bring it clean and new to God as an offering, a first-born of light and love! How blessed we are to be able to do this!

Final question: What is the boundary between Mitrayim and the Promised Land? There’s a wilderness of a grey zone and somewhere within is a boundary. On one side is the bachor (the first born) to be redeemed and on the other side is the bachor (the first born) to be killed.

I agree with the Talmudic rabbis that anything even near the boundary has the potential for re-creation and offering to God. We can’t slash everything we do because it is born from shadow. We would be destroying ourselves.

What we can do though is act. In this world of obscurity, insanity and slavery, of disrespect and confusion, of horror and pollution, we can take it upon ourselves, each one of us personally, to act with faith. We can continually bring our first-born moments to God. And if the first born is of shadow we do the work to transform it. This energy of faith and compassion is what enables us to leave Mitzrayim…and propels us moment to moment, job to job, step to step, person to person, friend with friend. There’s a force that this action creates, a necessity, a beauty so exquisite you feel like you are holding Truth in the palm of your soul. You feel ready to be thankful. You feel brave. You feel ready to be the bridge from river-edge to river-edge.

And as you chant the prayer Emet you know one thing.

This action…your action…is God.