Numbers Cycle 6 Balak

Balak

The parashah Balak reminds us that we can’t know or heal the shadow within ourselves or in the world from the outside.  It would be nice if we could. It would feel a lot safer and cleaner to work on our inner pain without having to swim around in it for a while. Swim around we must though. And this means being daring, experimental, visionary, and ego-less. It means letting go of the beat and rhythm of our day to day expectations and stepping into another realm, deep within. It means reaching to understand the whole, not just the pretty places we have come to know. 

This is particularly difficult when you live in a beautiful place.

But it doesn’t work to surround ourselves with people who see and think just like us either. In so doing, we don’t have to deal with the very deep ills that we share with those same people. We all know how to cover them with the same tools. We all dance around the truth the same way. No, if we really want to get to the core of ourselves we must dare to place ourselves in a community that does not think or act like us. Quickly, through juxtaposition we will not only notice the very shadow in this community that we have managed to embrace and overcome. We will notice a shadow in ourselves that has been well-concealed for a very long time. 

I think there are a few important points we need to take from Balak to stay safe when leaving the comfort of home.

1.      Go in slowly. Circle around shadow first like an eagle.  If we look carefully at Torah for example, the end of the parasha Chukot is very focused on describing the same countries we are soon to be intimately experiencing.. We see them from the outside first, maybe study them in school, maybe visit or learn about them online. We see their values, the way they are different from what we’ve known. We see how to move in, from the outside-in.

2.      Make sure you are seen. Know that there are levels of immersion into this different place. If you are seen you will be discussed. You will be a focus. If you are entering a shadow, this shadow will be ready and waiting for you. In other words, make sure that even the movement of shadow is towards you, the light. And then, once you are in make sure that the movement of shadow is towards the greatest light possible.

3.       Know when not to be seen. The angel of God hides himself from Balam because Balam is moving towards Balak.  Balam in other words is moving away from the Israelites.  If there’s a piece of you moving far from God then it is good for a while to hide that God-piece until the movement wakes up. 

4.      Listen to your heart to know where to look. Balam respects the sacrifices but he goes to talk to God before obeying Balak.

5.      Keep your vision towards the light. Never let go of who you  are when exploring your shadow-depths.

6.      Know the point-of-darkness real well. Know it so well that you can exit this community and throw a sword right into it. Right into it’s life-breath.

7.      Don’t confuse human life and beauty with human survival. There are lessons in Torah that take us beyond all perspectives.

This is a time to be strong and direct, compassionate and sure.  Know that your actions are always for the great cause of Love.