Numbers Cycle Four BeHa'alotecha 8:1-12:16

BeHa'alotecha

Hillel once said that all of Torah is … that which is hateful to you, do not do to others… and all the rest is commentary. In other words, my story is commentary. Your story is commentary. What’s important is how we can be the gem of holiness at the center of our personal life-stories.

This gem though has many nuances and reflections…we can arrive at it through many gates. And this is what attracts me to Numbers 10:35-36… in BeHa’alotheka .

V’yahay binsoa ha-aron vayomer Moshe kumah adonay v’yafutzu ayveicha v’yanusu misanecha mifanecha. Uvnucho yomer shuvah adonay revavot alfay yisrael.

And when it was that the ark would move forth, Moses said, Arise oh God and scatter Your enemies! Let those who hate You flee before you! And when in resting Moses said, Return oh God the myriads of the thousands of Israel!

These lines are so important they are separated out by two giant nuns acting like parenthesis. They mark an important moment in time…when we carry the ark through the wilderness of fear and doubt. It makes sense they are in the siddur, that we recite the first when we take the Torah out of the ark and the second when we return it.

But…according to the sages… if lines 10:35-36 mark the story of carrying Torah…and our personal/emotional journey…and nothing more…than the Torah itself is a thing to be carried so we can be centered … and nothing more. And this does not lead us to Hillel’s wisdom…do not do hateful things to your neighbor. In other words there’s a reason beyond ourselves and our egos why we are carrying Torah and studying Torah. It’s about more than what it seems.

Let’s look at the sages again., First we are told in Babylonian Talmud Shabbat 116a that (of these lines) the Holy One blessed be He provided signs above and below to teach that this is not in its place. Not in it’s place? Then where do these lines belong, we wonder? Well, Rabbi Samuel bar Nahman in the name of Rabbi Jonathon says…in a whole separate book! In fact, our rabbis quote Proverbs to prove this. She (Lady Wisdom) has hewn her 7 pillars (9:1). The 7 pillars are the seven books of the law!

Our Talmudic rabbis then expand upon a certain question…if all but 85 letters in a scroll are destroyed or decayed, is the scroll worth saving? The answer of course, is yes. And from the context and exhaustive length of their conversation one can only deduce that they believe that these 85 letters were in a scroll that contained a deeper message…possibly one we would like to receive.

So what happened to this mystery scroll? Who knows. I imagine it would be sort of like discovering the fountain of youth or the grave of Moses. How then do we find the message?

Let’s go back to these lines. Rabbi Simeon ben Gamaliel claims they serve as a boundary between two unholy actions. First, in Numbers 10:33 the Israelites set forth from the Mount after three days. Yes, after only three days they turn their backs on God. And then, in 11:1 they start moaning and groaning. We all know about that.

In my opinion, though, this boundary is between holy and unholy action. To me, leaving the Mount…at God’s orders…is not a transgression at all. And looking at the parsha …it’s all about raising up. The lights of the menorah are raised up. The Levites become themselves raised up in a wave offering to God . Then Moses says…Raise Yourself up God…... Afterwards it’s all downhill. It’s the moaning and groaning, the quail, the lashon harah, the leprosy of Miriam.

Al right, we can now think. So there’s a solid boundary between the holy and the unholy. Why does it matter?

Well, too often it’s a blur. How often do we look back on our own actions and think… it seemed like the best way to help…it seemed like the right thing to do…everyone else was doing it. Historically, retrospect, after-the-fact, in back-story… shines an ironic light on our holy boundary. We often shake our heads in disbelief. Why this gossip? Why this fighting? Why this bloodshed? Why this poverty? Why this war? Why this hate? Why this behavior? From our convenient future perspective we see the obvious boundary that was crossed. But how can we know it in the here and now?

Rise up God….Moses says. Here, we are witnessing, expressing verbally in solid touch and sounds the creation of a God who can raise Himself up. We are showing an acceptance of God so profound it flows from our eyes, cells and mouth as complete recognition. Moses does not after all say. Now I will tell Aaron to raise up the ark. He doesn’t give his full story of ark-raising from the time he was in a baby basket. He says, rise up God. He is admitting openly that God can raise Himself up! In the shape and form of the ark and therefore in the shape and form of the Israelites! He allows the knowledge to permeate him and enter his voice. He opens himself to the holy force beyond himself. This is not self proclaimed prophecy. This is knowing who he is and where is belongs.

He is the raising-up. He is in the boundary-space. We are there also so we may as well accept it. Hillel does not say after all that all of Torah is love thy neighbor as thyself. He quotes…do not do hateful things to your neighbor. In so doing, Hillel recognizes our humanity and our humility and points out the importance of not only the holy, but the unholy…and therefore that which both separates and joins them. He points at us. As we read in Torah the b’rit is between God and the Israelites. Therefore, to be in the b’rit we need to be not the great prophet but between. To avoid hateful behavior, we need to be between. To carry Torah through the wilderness of our own fear…we need to be not oh great and holy but in the boundary between.

How to apply this to today? Next time we chant these lines in the prayer service, see them differently. See light and darkness in your heart. Choose life. In day to day life, recognize fear and doubt (know it) and choose humility. Reflect it onto others in speech, smile, compassion, kindness. See the boundary and reach deep within it.

How to apply this in meditation? Once in a calm radiant place, recognize the myriads of sparks around you and focus on bringing them to your core. See a pillar of light from above to your mind and send those same sparks through the pillar. Chant. Be the raising-up. See the boundary between this action and the darkness below. Know you can sit with balance in this space between holy and unholy. Know who you are.