Numbers Cycle Four Sh'lach 13:1 to 15:41

Sh'lach

In Sh’lach Moses sends scouts to check out the Promised Land. You would think it would be a simple venture. You’re on the road. You gather the leaders and instruct one from each section of your community go out to explore. You trust they will be dependable.

This isn’t what happens though. In fact for whatever reason they return with horrific stories. Soon the people are rebelling, again speaking highly of their past slavery-home and looking for a way to return.

Rashi claims that Moses was given the discretion to either send the scouts or not. In Talmud we learn that the very names of these men held their lack of faith (Bab Talmud Sotah 34b). The name Sethur reflects the need to undermine the works of God. The name Nahbi shows a need to hide God’s words. R. Johanon says that they went and came to Moses (13:26) infers that they came back and went with the same intention…an evil design.

It would be easy to ask ourselves the question then…if Moses didn’t have to…if God wasn’t commanding him…and if the choosing of spies was only a holy suggestion to be followed at his singular discretion, then why did he choose obviously faith-less men to take up the mission?

Or…here’s another way to ask the question…How did the choosing of these men (by Moses) satisfy his own personal mission on this earth? The Sfas Emes says Nothing is beloved before God like an emissary sent to do a mitzvah who risks his life for the mission to succeed…we were sent into this world by God to fulfill his commandments. So, it could be inferred that the sending of these men in the larger picture…as faith-less as they might be...contributed to satisfying the personal mission of Moses (even if he lost his soul-life entry to the Promised Land). And this personal mission of the prophet would later achieve and reveal a deeper truth and tighter connection between the people and Hashem.

It is easy to say these men were bad. What did they do though? Did they create gossip about each other? No, this is what Miriam had just finished doing and was therefore punished. Did they act with fear and doubt and influence others to turn away from the radiance of God? Yes. Did they make up outrageous stories to stop the process of consciousness and enlightenment? It sure seems that way. Were they punished? Well, forty years of wandering isn’t exactly a reward.

Now let’s turn to our Talmudis rabbis. They also like to talk about the Promised Land but they don’t mention giants. They take it to the other extreme. In Kethuboth Rami b. Ezekiel claims he saw two goats grazing under fig trees. There was honey flowing from the figs and the milk ran from all of this and mingled. R Jacob b Dostai says that once he rose early in the morning and walked three miles all the way up to his ankles in the honey of figs. Resh Lakish says that he saw the flow of milk and honey cover an area of 16 by 16 miles.

Stories still but nice stories. Ones we want to hear. Ones that we feel support the holiness of God. On the other hand, stories that display frightening scenes (we figure) are not holy.

But what about this mission of Moses? Could it be inferred that his mission encompasses all of this, the seeming holy and the seeming not so holy, the struggle to believe and to display true faith when called upon by Hashem, the forging away at the iron- bronze-gold tools over and over again.…so that the people can finally grasp them in soul, heart and mind? So that they can finally use them to carve a radiance into their lives that merges the unholy with the holy? In my opinion, Moses is following a concealed mitzvah, that of the prophet, the one that enables the people to take on the many mitzvoth of God. His mission is to teach the people to learn to use those tools with dexterity. And if the people aren’t ready, they are only bad from a people point-of-view.

Why do I say this? Because I believe it’s better not to use the tools then to use them the wrong way. Faulty stories, as damaging as they can be, carry only the potential for faulty behavior where the true damage happens. The inner fury of the people, the fury at themselves for their rawness, their not-knowing, their fear, their doubt is reflected in the angry God. Their punishment is self imposed and self created and reflects their knowledge that in some way they have (once again) zigged where they should have zagged. But the truth is (it seems) in the mind of Moses (who reflects God) they just aren’t ready. And it’s best, whatever the circumstances, to know that now.

Yes, as people, we clearly need to watch carefully the way we express ourselves, the inner-life-stories we create. We need to wear the memory of the mitzvoth on our clothing in the form of tzitzit. We need to understand the circular journey. But Moses, as prophet, is there as an emissary to discover the boundaries of both holy and unholy so he can find the edge, the path between the two. His actions and decisions must enable him to see that path (even if it means choosing faith-less men). It is within this vacuum/path that God’s light enters. It is within this vacuum/path/opening that we allow ourselves to be propelled to the place of absolute connection and love.

Bad or good, fantastical of horrific, we and our stories create the magnificent way-of-consciousness. If we go over any edge we find potentially damaging fear, doubt, disbelief, fantasy, insanity, the clear and defined hard-rock boundary that is so like Hebron. There, a place in which is buried the dead of so many great and thirsty souls, with explorers and scouts and wanderers and patriarchs and teachers, we find (within those rocks) our mistakes and victories. We find (one inch after the next) our direction. And that’s why, perhaps, the Talmudic rabbis claim that not one place is more fertile than Zoan…the most fertile spot in the land of Egypt…except Hebron (Kethuboth 112a).

How to apply this to our world? Know the reason for our action. Understand that a journey is not always a straight line…that we may choose an action for that very curved path. Wear the tallith. Feel the tzitzit. Know that consciousness takes time and be patient. Be direct. Vocalize the boundaries. Take yourself out of the scene and watch it carefully. Let the tzit tzit help you with that equanimity. This moment is but one vibration/step in the truth of God. This deed must contain some mitzvah. Find it.

How to apply this to our meditation? In the place of radiance accept all but the very darkest visions. Know that all creates a universal puzzle…See the interconnections between the pieces, dark and light. Let light flow from your heart to those boundaries. Wear the tallith. Feel the tzittzit. Sit on a mountain and meditate with the tallith on… the tzitzit in your hand. Know who you are.